Monday, 10 Sep, 2007 Offbeat
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Comments from Digg

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A few weeks ago we have posted a short suggestion post about social networks implementing a quotes section. To remind you in brief what the idea was all about, here it is:

We suggested that it would be nice if today's most popular social networks, such as Digg.com, Netscape.com, Shoutwire.com and the like, would start a comments, or quotes, section, where users would promote the comments from the entire network.

This post should be considered as a sequel of the upper-mentioned, as it should become an example, of what we were talking about. This is a list of some comments, selected from several posts some two or three weeks ago. Actually it doesn't matter, when the comments were picked, what does matter is what they are. You don't have any idea what story they are meant to comment until you see the source, and yet, they are funny... ripped out of their context - they are funny!

Here we go:


Speedy7: Snow Block= $2000
WinterWear= $150
Sculpting Equipment= $500
Look on artists face when the snow sculpture melts into a pool of water = Priceless
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lemorex:did the AWESOME need to be all caps?
h0merg0mez: did you NEED to complain about this?
Jeffler: Its a REQUIREMENT for digg picture titles.
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Marijuana: What happened to all the "future" hype for the new millenium, I want my flying car already.
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asahi99: The city is so much better now that the Embarcadero Freeway is gone. Huge Improvement. Earthquakes sometimes do good things!
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kmpr326: I don't care if your a redneck pro-war neocon or a pussy liberal pansy as long as you agree that America kicks ass.
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volonix: Oh christ, i assume by his use of arse that he's British. But, please, dont take him as some sort of ambassador. Like America, we have morons too.
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msaleem: ...This should've made the front page 13 hours ago. Thanks for this.
ardnut: wait a bit and it will have been 13 hours ago
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screwzluse: Glad we could bring politics into a nice looking picture. Grats, buddy.
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Sharky35: Some of you are dumber than a bag of dildos at a celibacy convention.
SuperDevil: I don't get it... Would the dildos be smarter if they were somewhere else?
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bob_the_alien: I still own every sega home console they made, prolly have them until I'm a grandpa, and then pass them on to my grandchildren, and then they will prolly think they suck, lol.
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jon3k: Who said Christianity was a religion of peace? Ever heard of The Crusades? The Inquisition? Religion of peace my ass. Quick question - how many people were killed in the name of Atheism?
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Quintios: Good comment. It's interesting how you get so many saying "don't blame all the muslims" yet here we see many comments along the lines of "way to go Christians".
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georgetds: Well obviously, since statistically it is proven that people with no religion never commit violence, let alone murder. If the whole world was atheist, we would be at peace.
jon3k: Well consider all the people that religion has saved and given a purpose. Look I'm atheist and even I won't sit here and argue that religion doesn't have SOME value. Usually it works really well to keep the lower class in line. You know, light at the end of the tunnel and all: "It's ok to slave your whole life cleaning toilets, because when I die, oh boy, big pearly gates in the sky for me!"
ICSU: That lower class pisses me of with their voting of equal morons who annoy me and others. Let people think for themselves no matter what "class" they may belong to.
quisph: Yeah, it's a good thing that smart rich people like Paris Hilton have the ability to vote.
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Neem: Acting irrational ? You want more irrational than believing there is an invisible bearded man who runs the universe?
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NiGHTSChao: What was your reason: "God told me to do it"
philz: This thread is about Bush already?
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greysun: A nut is a nut, regardless of what they affiliate themselves with.
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Vrail: This image looks like it may have been enhanced using the Adobe Photoshop™ software.
eyefork: How about I enhance your pain with the Kick Ass™ software.
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Cyber_Akuma: That thing almost looks like a prison...
desqjockey: Prisons usually have those really narrow windows.
boyasunder: The one time I visited New York, I saw that building, freaked out, and wondered why they had a big-ass prison in the middle of Manhattan.
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tbikkle: that's a different at&t building. it's also supposedly "nuke-proof" to a certain extent, or at least it was given the nukes they had way back when. our company used to have servers there. i remember going in once and the fingerprint scanner wouldn't recognize my finger, so the guard came over, nudged the door a little bit, wiggled the locking mechanism and the door swung open easily.
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nates:Yes, welcome to the age of the telephone people. AT&T has generally had very secure buildings for their central offices. The one in Cheyenne is supposed to be very, very bomb proof (I heard "nuke proof" but I'm not sure that's true)
silent:Cheyenne mountain? Rumor is, that's where they hide the Stargate.
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scotsman: I bought 39 shares (of Apple) in April 2006 at around $64/share. Since then the company has "bought" me a brand new MacBook Pro just for throwing some cash in the pot back then.
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iplayyouandme: Microsoft considers "sold" has in still sitting on the shelf at Costco, which is where 90% of them (Zune) are being "social".
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sbgskl: Bury me.
norman619: NO! NOT WHILE YOU STILL DRAW BREATH!!!!
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leonbev: Britney Spears has probably sold more CD's than Mozart has in the past five years. Using your logic, does that mean that Britney's music is better?
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boywonder:No wonder the revenue is so high, because they get morons to spend their money on way overpriced iCrap.
meatmcguffin: Read the post above yours and think about what you just did.
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ralphmalph: hmm only 1M iPhones up till end of next quarter... i smell some doom in the air... i thinks the fanboys was expecting more
cyfer2000: "i smell some doom in the air" Do you mean play doom on the iphone? It's just around the corner.
MacParrot: I don't think that's doom you smell. More likely all that stuff you're full of.
ashwinashwin: apple always makes conservative forecasts... always...
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somegeologist:One million per quarter, hmmm. How the heck are they (iPhones) going to reach 8 million in one year.
Me1000:Ever heard of christmas?
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TheSpook: Yeah, my kid's school recently updated their Mac lab. That had to double their market share alone.
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guardianzero: Good looking stuff sells well :-. If an apple product has an inner flaw it is overlooked because of the design and usability by the consumer. Look at the iphone: It's got some issues, but it's not stopping people from picking that up instead of a $75 blackjack.
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skywake: In Art they have Macs and all the students dance around high on drugs with their iPods and Mac Book Pros.....
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cthellis: The Zune, meanwhile, has a while to go to prove itself to not be an abortion.
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eqisow: Being a CEO may require a certain level of douche-baggery, but that's hardly the only measure of success.
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MacParrot: The first time I bother to use Windows for a game on my Mac will be the first time I use Windows on my Mac. Once you grow up, you find that you have less time for games (sorry, it's true). When I have the time for games I use a console. Turn it on, game on, turn it off. 1/4 of the price for a PC, no bothering with drooling over some graphics card that gives me even more frames per second that you can't see with the human eye.
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greevar: People are dumb enough to be wowed by pretty design and gimmicky products. "It's the iPhone! It does, email, music, internet, and performs oral on you, ALL AT THE SAME TIME!!!"
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AlmostEvil: The Queen has about as much power in the UK as a wet sandwich. It's purely a figure-head position and has been for the last few hundred years. You could say we keep them around for the tourists.
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sacr3dc0w: Make Steve Jobs the president, at least you know he won't press the nuke button.
Speed: He could merge the State of the Union address and Macworld... "We will launch the 6th generation iPod by next August. One more thing. We are invading Iran"
meatmcguffin: *iRan You missed an obvious joke!
Gogogo111: We're already in iRac
1iProd: Today, I am introducing to congress...the iBill!
Mac101: If Steve was President he would redesign the nuclear suitcase and add a touch button for the nukes. He would be the iPresident.
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celkin: I'm sure one of these days Apple will create a game console (other than the failed Pippin) to compete against the PS4, XBox 1080, and SuperWii. The controller will probably just be a buttonless Wiimote.
panzergeist: And it will be called the iPlay. The camera attachment will be the iSight. And the controller, iControl. Think about the ad slogan: iPlay Games.
celkin:iPlay does what Nintendon't.
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anonym41414: Voice input is a great idea, but I've never seen it done well. Unless you count science fiction. If you could somehow couple it with natural-language processing, fine. "Computer, e-mail Fred and ask him if he wants to have brunch on Saturday." But the whole "Open e-mail, new message, fred at gee mail dot com, tab, tab, dear Fred" mess is just annoying.
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bgfinkel: i'm 15 and i just left myspace for facebook...
dougless: Did you clean your room before you left?
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Pix869: If I had to choose between a nice, clean layout where I can communicate with my friends, or a messy, epileptic-seizure inducing background-music blaring site that looks like it was made with MS paint, I would chose the former for obvious reasons.
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skealoha86: their (Myscpace.com / Facebook.com) only purpose is to collect massive amounts of data on their users so that they can be targeted with tons of advertising with ridiculous accuracy. trending can then be sold to major companies to see if the product will be "hip with the kids" based on the demographic statistics.
sickswaystop: good then maybe i'll stop seeing ads for MIDOL, or VAGISIL. instead i'll see ads for things I'd actually want.
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deathtom64: i left myspace because of the annoying "bulletins" people left. that mostly consisted of "fill out this quiz" "forward this or you will die" or "read my blog and check out my pictures!!"
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skankyBacon: On behalf of Facebook users...if you're using MySpace now, please stay there.
carbonfree314: This coming from a user named skankyBacon...
skankyBacon: You order a bacon cheeseburger from Jack in the Box and tell me that's not the first adjective that comes to mind!
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lajaw: You have a limited vocabulary there andburn1. Maybe when you graduate high school you and the rest of the kids here on digg will quit using profanity. Grow up punk!
andburn1: Perhaps my extensive vocabulary is limited by the gratuitous and superfluous quantities of expletives I employ when I am impassioned or incensed, but to assume that my command of the English language is anything less than exceptional, and, indeed, exemplary, is, to me, offensive and erroneous. You are presumptuous and insulting, and I ask in earnest that you please shut the fuck up.
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Urusai: Two party system? All I see are fascist Republicans and coward Republicans (AKA Democrats).
scubasteve377: Strange you would call them both Republican, when neither party displays the main attribute of classic Republicanism, the advocacy of small government. They would be more accurately described as fascist big-government conservatives and cowardly big-government liberals, big government being a historically Democratic trait, not a Republican one.
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omnirusa:Beer and the internet have gone together since the beginning.
chris9902:Beer: the cause of and solution to all of life's problems.
Ajajadude:I believe that should be written down and remembered until the end of time.
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Stachzilla: LOOK HOW LOUD I CAN TYPE. ARE YOU ALL DIGGING ME UP OR SHOULD I TYPE LOUDER? HAVE I GAINED YOUR ATTENTION AND AFFECTION YET? Seriously... dude... it's O.K. to type with the caps lock off.
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OatmealBatman2: It's what happens to Legos when you flush them down the toilet.
Markpdotcom: Oh, you're the first retard in the thread to do it... it's NOT LegoS. There is no S! It's just Lego. Even fucking Family Guy did it!
aquadoctorbob: I believe you mean LEGO Bricks (TM) or LEGO Minifigures (R)(C) all rights reserved warranty void if seal broken.
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EvaMoney01: You barbarian. We should worship him like the new God he is. Better get started on the virgin sacrifice... any takers?
targetX: Don't sacrifice the virgins! There would be no use for Digg anymore...
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Snoods: I'm betting It's a Trojan-horse and there are hundreds, -nay, thousands of little Lego men waiting or us to fall asleep and slit our throats. And they said I was crazy!
smurf22: Later in the new Bush confirms the lego man has ties to AL Qaeda.
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Zuriya: Gauss helped his father doing calculations when he was 3 years old. It may not take that long until kids are useful :).
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hockey: My kids are geniuses. It takes real talent to break some of the stuff they do the way they do.
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IdanE: ...if you're the kind of guy who only eats and drinks for sustenance and thinks that sex is a waste of time that could be well spent playing WoW body humping a fallen orc, you probably wouldn't want a kid that would take away time from those long raid sessions.
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jshanman: ... just try holding your newborn for a second and see how you feel. If that does nothing for you then your too selfish and are living life for your own cheap and easy pleasures.
badfrog: Nothing like the old "You'll love them once you're stuck with one." argument. Just like all those "My cat isn't like most cat's, it's more like a dog." people.
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drakenlot: I have two children, living with my better half for a year now, have an awesome job where I sit on my ass, go on Digg, and play games and get paid for it (I'm a systems tech). I honestly haven't been this happy.
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luckykpolice: c'mon, with all that money you can save from not having them (kids) you can live it up presently and/or have enough to hire a good looking nurse to wipe your wrinkled ass later on.
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0megaMan: Humans are animals its born into a person to breed a few people have evolved enough ro fight the urge to breed me being one of those people.
rhabd0mancer: It seems that you have evolved beyond punctuation, too.
taintedzodiac: Thank %diety! The world will be a better place without Mr. McRunonsentence Jr.
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Phara0h: Server not found...
Frnnkdlxx: ... these websites are like virgins and dig users are like a football team of black 14 inchers.

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